


Dead End

by OvOishay



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Canon Relationship, M/M, Translation, novel spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6003474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvOishay/pseuds/OvOishay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orihara Izaya hasn’t not envisaged his own death. Right now, he’s contemplating this very matter on an empty rooftop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead End

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [穷途末路](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/176128) by 无心论. 



> Author's note:  
> Attention:  
> ※This is a depressing product after reading the 12 volume spoiler, it's short, obscure, and ambiguous.

<<< 

 

 

Orihara Izaya hasn’t _not_ envisaged his own death. Right now, he’s contemplating this very matter on an empty rooftop.

If he categorized all the probable scenarios into three groups, the first one would be a painful death from embroiling in wars between gangs and other threatening organizations in the underworld, the second one be an ugly end plotted and avenged by the humans he toyed with. And these are within his scope of calculation. 

He has roamed vigilantly between manifold dangers for years, but even him — the omnipotent informant, is nonetheless a mere human being, and humans can’t calculate their lives without possible errors, Orihara Izaya isn’t an exception. 

Therefore, he, while maintaining self-preservation to the greatest possible extent, has always been prepared for the worst「accident」. 

This is the paradox of Orihara Izaya, who cravenly clings to his life despite his craving for all the goods and the evils in the world. 

As to the third group, it is his demise in the hands of his nemesis* Heiwajima Shizuo.

At this point, the ordinary human smile affixed to his face rippled faintly as if a rock was thrown into a once-tranquil water. 

Which floor did Shizu-chan get to? He probably didn’t wait for the elevator, considering his imprudent nature, but in relative to speed, that monster is probably faster than the elevator anyway. 

Izaya fishes out his beloved switchblade from his sleeves as he dwelling upon his assumption, and yet, his heart wavers as he twiddles with the blade's sturdy, sharp edge. 

What kind of dagger can sever his carotid artery? 

Or, what kind of tool should I use to sever the fate intermingled between us over the years?

He has pondered questions as such countless times, asking himself over and over again. But none of these times are exigent as today, so vehement that waves of intense pain bombarded his eardrums. 

If it was during their usual times, he would flagrantly provoke him to soothe this anxiety. 

Although the conclusion Izaya drew is irrelevant to the question, it abruptly relieves him of all worries. 

— If I kill Shizu-chan, I can like myself.

He has thoroughly convinced himself owning to the pacification gained from this newly revealed lie, which is akin to how he casts firm faith upon past lies as「humans should also love me」without a shadow of doubts. 

The most absurd lie can topple the truth in a world without the monster.

He thinks, maybe this is what he has always been seeking for. 

After making the point clear, Izaya gazes upon the densely populated Ikebukuro street and silently estimates Shizuo’s speed, then he submits himself to an ethereal euphoria, which soon boils in his blood and jams his brain. 

Clump. Clump. 

Uncertain whether it's from hallucination or reality, he senses the steady rhyme of heavy footsteps reverberating in imperceptible sound waves that vacillating directly toward his heart. 

If he can’t kill Heiwajima Shizuo by himself.

If he dies on Heiwajima Shizuo’s hand. 

These are two discrete outcomes, but they lead to the same destination. Under the long, expectant gaze, the door to the rooftop opens. Not damaged by violence, but it’s opened in a rather exceptionally peaceful manner.

Staring at his own figure reflected from the amber eyes, Orihara Izaya is astounded in a split second as if he has just unraveled an inexplicable secret. A sudden realization hits him with relief. 

Picturing the beautiful world without the monster, he once again, 

Smiles from his heart. 

 

<<< 

 

 

There are many people in the world who have provoked Heiwajima Shizuo, but the Orihara Izaya is the only one who enraged him to the point of murderous intent**.

From the annoying first sight to constant disgust proceeded in the high school, then to the abhorrence at this moment. 

He used to think he’ll never able to have bare hostility toward anyone before meeting Izaya. After all, his temper comes fast and dissipates fast; if he beat someone who pissed him off today, he’ll forget everything by the next morning.

In spite of his hot temper, Heiwajima Shizuo is not a man of hatred.

But now, this scalding fieriness wriggling in his chest is surely the sentiment called hatred. And the one who kindled this sentiment was undoubtedly his nemesis, that damn Orihara Izaya. 

Shinra has told him in the Raijin days: 「Although Izaya and you express mutual hostilities, the two hostilities are different in their natures. You have a pure disgust toward Izaya, it’s an instinctive repel without any rationality. But as for Izaya toward you, the hatred might contain some products after logical thinkings, so it has a purpose. 」

After seeing the listener’s impatience on his face due to the complexity, Shinra clarified further: 「Your existence turned Izaya’s declaration of his love of humanity into a paradox, thus he developed some complex over you. He wants you to disappear at all costs to establish his self-deceptive logics.」

Shizuo, at that moment, didn’t digest Shinra’s speech, or, rather, he didn’t want to digest it. He didn’t care to know anything pertained to Orihara Izaya, let alone understanding it. Therefore, he could never understand the reasons behind Izaya’s tireless provocation and his persistence to poke his bottom line. 

But there’s one point that he can understand with mere intuition. 

— Orihara Izaya has always wanted something. 

The more Izaya angers him, the stronger is the unnatural luster in his crimson eyes. 

Can anyone even find such joy from seeing something inside someone he totally disgusted? It has baffled him since.

But as to what the「something」is, it’s out of his range of thinking. 

Stamping the last step of the flight, Shizuo gazes at the vulnerable door panel. The rampaging rage in his blood is compressed into murderous intention. 

He has never thought of the day when he’s not controlled by his temper, but rather ruling over his temper to reach his own murderous intention. 

Once he opens this door, he will see Orihara Izaya.

The day is probably destined for them since the first time they met, the two incompatible people can’t avoid a deadly fight that leaves only one winner, or none. 

It’s as if they are guided by fate to circle back to the final destination after all the divergences and detours. 

Just open the door, snap Orihara Izaya’s neck, and then his daily life won’t be subjected to any more disturbances, and he can finally release himself from the cursed relationship and embark on his fresh, peaceful life. 

Isn't everything so reasonable? 

Heiwajima Shizuo imagines the beautiful world without Orihara Izaya while turning the doorknob with an expression he fails to notice.

                                                                                                                                     FIN

 

* the original phrase "犬猿之仲” (the Chinese translation of the Japanese proverb “犬猿の仲”) means the mutual hatred relationship between two natural enemies — dogs, who solve problems with violence, and monkeys, who solve problems with heads. 

** the original phrase “杀气” literately means an aura of murder or a cold murderous mood.


End file.
